For several months post-breakup, I continued to communicate with my former partner. Those days mark some of the most challenging times of my life.
The choice maintain contact soon became a regrettable one, as I came to realize that forgiving a partner who was unfaithful is far from straightforward.
Nevertheless, I allowed him to remain in my life due to fears of being judged by him and his circle. Desperate to be perceived as the amiable woman loved by all, I ended up compromising my own happiness.
It’s generally acknowledged that remaining friends with an ex isn’t wise.
Should you wonder why, I’m prepared to offer some sound explanations.
The main obvious reason: it holds you back from moving on
Many individuals often neglect the importance of cutting ties with an ex after a breakup for various reasons.
Some fear appearing impolite, while others hold onto their ex, believing they still have feelings.
However, what do you truly gain from this? I don’t mean to sound harsh, but consider it.
Is it worth it to maintain a connection with someone who has caused you significant pain in the past and pretend everything is fine now?
Even mere acquaintance might be more than your ex deserves.
This is particularly true for those who were deceived or betrayed but still decide to keep their ex in their lives. I’ve experienced this myself, and honestly, it can be alluring.
During your most challenging moments, you might wonder if it’s feasible to piece everything back together.
Allowing your ex to remain in your life, when you know it only brings turmoil, exposes you to further suffering.
Unknowingly, two years might flutter by, and you find yourself trapped in the continual cycle of trying to get over your ex.
You won’t have the space to heal from the heartbreak completely
If you need a reminder today, there’s a reason why your relationship ended.
Don’t stress about whether you and your ex will reconcile someday; it’s not something to be concerned with right now.
There’s a common fear of regretting a total cut-off from an ex.
“So many girls wonder, what if their ex has genuinely changed and wants to make things right again?”
It’s astonishing how what we call “love” can make us act so impulsively, ready to surrender everything at the slightest hint of change.
But what about the healing your broken heart requires? It can’t mend if you’re constantly in contact with your ex.
For me, it was only after relocating to a different city and starting a new job that I could finally say things were completely finished with my ex.
So, allow yourself that needed breathing room. It’s more crucial than you might think.
The relationship status might change but in your heart, it’s still not over yet
Being part of a couple means becoming accustomed to the thought of looking out for someone else. This habit is difficult to shake, particularly if it’s been part of your life for several years. That’s the reason, after a breakup, it’s essential to cease all communication for some time, allowing your brain to get used to your new situation.
Often, people struggle to move forward years after a breakup because they refuse to completely detach from their ex, even just for a few months.
Believe me, your ex isn’t disappearing—you can reignite things with them later, but lost time is irreplaceable.
Encouragement from friends makes it seem simple to move on, yet it becomes significantly tougher when you’re alone at 1 AM, feeling defeated by life.
Feelings of loneliness and desperation can overwhelm you. You might not consider the repercussions when you can easily reach out to your ex.
However, if you’ve eliminated their number and blocked them on social media, what are your options?
Instead of falling back into old patterns with your ex, you’ll find yourself seeking alternative solutions.
If it’s a closure that you need then you’re just wasting your time
For years, I held out for my former partner to confess his infidelity.
Despite overwhelming evidence, he continued to deny it. I believed that the only way I could move forward was if he provided closure.
Perhaps an apology too?
Embarrassing, isn’t it?
Looking back, I regret waiting so long. I’ve come to understand that closure must originate from within oneself. Overcoming the pain and simply coming to terms with reality suffices.
Maintaining a relationship with an ex in hopes of demonstrating the harm they’ve inflicted is not just futile; it also poses the risk of further emotional injury.
You find yourself still caring about them and their new relationships. You keep in contact under the guise of friendship, but it’s far more complicated than that in your heart.
The bitterness remains, leaving you the one who truly suffers, certainly not your ex.
Therefore, consider this a nudge to stop waiting for closure. Remove your ex from your contacts. Step out of your comfort zone for once. If possible, explore the globe on your own.
Take the necessary steps to mend your broken heart and begin anew. At the end of the day, you are entitled to start a new chapter in your life.